Still here and still waiting...

*WARNING: This post has a lot of whining in it, so if you don't want to hear it, don't read it...

Way back in September, long before blizzards were in the forecast and long before we got our referral, I scheduled a surprise trip for Jeff and I. We were going to relax on the beach and soak up some sun. When we received Amelia's referral I happily cancelled our vacation believing that we'd be in Seoul right around this time. Well, today as I sit at home and wait for the phone to ring, it's frustrating to know that at this very moment, I was scheduled to be on the beach. I'd be even more thrilled to be in Korea, but being home right now, is the last place I want to be. It's time for us to make our journey to bring Amelia home.

I never thought on February 27 we'd be in this situation. We've already waited longer for our travel call for Amelia than we waited for with Graham and the wait is really getting to me. The fact that Amelia turned 8 months old yesterday without her family doesn't help the situation either. Graham turned 8 months old at home with us and I naively assumed it would be the same for our little girl. Babies change so much at this age, and it makes me so sad to know how much I'm missing.

I restrained myself and only called the Embassy once this week; this morning. I thought that waiting all week would create better odds for good news, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. When the phone operator gave me the same answer I've been getting for several weeks now, I must have sounded completely dejected because he told me 'Good luck' then reminded me that 'they all come home eventually'. I really hope that 'eventually' comes soon, because I'm about to lose it. I know for sure, I'm driving Jeff crazy. Neither one of us knows how to address the angst and pain that comes with waiting so we just live with it. There really isn't another option.

After my Embassy phone call I was not in a happy place and convinced myself that retail therapy would help. I decided that a trip to the American Girl Store at the Mall of America was just the thing I needed. I have a hanbok (traditional Korean dress) for an American Girl sized doll, I just needed the doll. So, Graham and I set off on our mission to find an Asian American Girl Doll. We had great success and I was happy to add this doll to the collection that I started when I was a little girl.

Graham has once again proven to me that he has understanding beyond what I would expect of a normal toddler. As we were leaving the Mall of America, we drove right by the airport. As luck would have it, there was an accident and traffic was at a standstill. I was getting impatient, but Graham was enjoying the view of all the planes as they landed. As a giant jet came into view Graham got very excited, pointed, and said 'Amel ya ya'. I turned around and told him that Amelia wasn't on that plane. He looked at me, got very quiet, and as he held my gaze said 'Mama Amel ya ya Soon'. Ok, Graham if you say so...