Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Still here, and still waiting....

Yep, we're still here, and we're still waiting for the phone to ring. Our lives have gotten increasingly busy with the quickly approaching holiday season, so the days do seem to be passing a bit faster than normal. I feel so torn about wanting the time to fly. Part of me wants to fast forward to the day when the phone rings with news of our daughter, and other parts of me want to savor each day I have with Graham while he's as young as he is without rushing anything. I think a reminder of living in the moment is probably a good lesson for all, especially at this time of year when our calendars seem to explode with 'things'.

I do find myself thinking about her much more lately though. When I'm getting Graham ready for bed at night I wonder if she's just waking up and starting her day on the other side of the world. I hope that she's got a loving foster family and that she's greeted each morning with smiles. When Graham wakes me up each morning by loudly calling 'Mama' from his crib, then flops down with laughter when I actually appear, I wonder if his sister is getting ready to sleep for the night. As the weather has turned frigid here, and I know from experience how cold Seoul can be in the winter, I hope she's bundled in thick warm pajama's, not unlike those that Graham sleeps bundled in.

When the time is right, I know the phone will ring. Until then though, I'm going to focus on just living in the moment.