The waiting list.....

I caved in this morning and asked our agency for a waiting list update. The thought of doing so hadn't even crossed my mind until I talked with our social worker yesterday. Our conversation got me thinking and I decided that I just had to know. Now I wish I had never asked because our number on the waiting list....are you ready for this...is big, fat 48. Yep, you read that right 48...4 dozen, almost half way to 100, any way you look at that number, it's pretty big. For a few minutes after I heard that number I allowed my thoughts to wander. I wondered how much ice cream working our way to #1 (and still arriving with sanity) it was going to take. Then I began to do the math and attempt to figure out how many referrals our agency needs to get each month in order for us to receive our referral within our projected year. Then, before I let my mind race any longer, I made a good decision and called Jeff at work. Thank goodness I called him when I did, because he reminded me of something very important regarding the waiting list that immediately put my mind at ease. Let me explain...

When you're waiting for a baby from Korea, you can request to wait for a boy, a girl, or "either". If you have no children, you are automatically waiting for "either". The thing is though, there isn't actually an "either" list. There is a boy list and a girl list, and if you're waiting for "either" your name is actually on both lists. For example, when we were waiting for Graham, since we had no children, we were on both the girl list and the boy list. As soon as we accepted Graham's referral we were crossed off both lists. The majority of the time, if a family is waiting for "either" they'll receive a boy which will take their name off the girl list.

So, I can rest assured that there truly aren't 47 people ahead of us waiting specifically for little girls. I'm going to assume that maybe close to half of them are actually waiting for "either" which means when they receive their boy referrals, we'll actually move up the list. We'll also obviously move up the list each time a girl referral is handed out. Basically, at least until all the "either" people have their referrals, we'll move up the list twice as fast because any referrals means movement up the list for us.

If I've confused you with my waiting list logic, I'm sorry. The whole point of my rambling is to remind myself and all those waiting for Princess Olson that being #48 isn't as bad as it may seem.

One down, who knows how many to go!

Today marks one month of us officially waiting for our little girl! Of course, it feels like we've been waiting much longer since we started the application process way back in wintry April, but we're now able to say we've got one month of "waiting list waiting" behind us. In honor of attempting to patiently wait, I've decided to allow myself to indulge in my need for girly shopping once a month. I have to admit that I got quite the rush when I allowed myself to cross from the boy side of the store into the girl side. I could have easily spent hours browsing racks of dresses and ruffles. Since we don't know what size our little princess will wear when she makes her journey home, I decided on a few items that have some flexibility-a pair of sassy sunglasses, an adorable sunhat, and a pair of cute little sandals. Stay tuned for next months girly purchases!

Why?

Hmmm, we've only been waiting 3 weeks and I'm already finding myself questioning this process again. Why does it take so long? Why is the government so slow? Why is the entire process out of our control? Why, Why, Why? The fact that I'm asking myself these questions only 3 weeks into our official wait is definitely not a good sign. The truth is, I asked myself these exact same questions the first time around and although my questions were never answered with words, they were answered the first time I laid eyes on Graham. So, I guess I can answer my own questions. The answer to all my "Why's?" is very simply because our daughter isn't ready for us yet. That realization doesn't make the wait any easier, but I do know that the extremely long wait that lies ahead of us will make that first look at our little girl that much sweeter.

As these thoughts ran through my head today, I was doing some adoption reading on the Internet and came across the following poem. I read it over and over and over because it just feels so relevant to my racing thoughts. I'm definitely going to tuck this poem away for those days when the waiting feels unbearable. We're not waiting for just any little girl, we're waiting for our daughter...

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life.
But those who make their journey home across time & miles,
growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,
are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us
by God's very own hands.
--- Kristi Larson

The next thing on our list....

Our social worker, Mary, is so fast! It's been just over two weeks since she came to visit with us at our house and our homestudy documents arrived in the mail today! Not too bad considering we had a holiday thrown in there too! The fact that we now have a copy is actually a pretty big deal because now we can get the ball rolling on the next step. Dealing with our social worker at CHS has been very easy so although I'm excited to move onto the next step, I'm also a bit cautious. We now have to deal with..... the government....now when I have questions I will never be able to speak with a real person and our case will have truly been turned into just a number in a large pile. But, it is the next step towards being united with our daughter so we'll do it with smiles on our faces!

We (who am I kidding, we means me) will fill out the I600A application. It's complicated, but the short version of what this form accomplishes is giving us approval to bring a foreign child into the country. This is the very first piece of immigration paperwork for our child-so early in fact that this form will only be tracked by our names and not our daughters' since we haven't been matched with her yet. Once we receive our referral, we then apply for the second part of this application, the I600, which allows us to bring a specific child into the country. Basically, when we apply for the I600A we're asking for pre-approval. That's probably more than anyone really cares to know, but it is the next thing on our to-do list.

What we're really excited about is that as part of the I600A application we get to have our fingerprints taken again. WOO HOO! Not only do we get to have our fingerprints taken again, but we also get to pay several hundred dollars for it! There really is nothing better than sitting in an unairconditioned immigration office waiting room and being the only people who speak English...all in the name of our noncriminal fingerprints which we've had taken countless times over the past few years...those are good times!